A letter to my college roommates...

Hi.
I have a love/hate relationship with a lot of you. I lived on campus for two and a half years of my life while in college, and it made me realize what I value in friendship. This is not a letter to one of you specifically, but to all of you as a whole.
The fact that we go to a Christian university made me excited, especially since I was fairly new in my religion when I started here. Now I have realized that a Christian university does not necessarily mean that the people uphold Christian values. People here are rude, manipulative, careless, lazy and so much more.
I expected to have a lot of great friendships coming out of college, mostly my roommates because we spent so much time together. However, there is one person that I have lived with, that I would still consider a friend going into my last semester at this school, and I met her two weeks ago.
I clean when I am anxious, but that does not mean that I enjoy cleaning, it means that it calms my nerves. And by no means does it mean that you don't have to clean up after yourself or that you can leave 4+ bags of trash sitting in the kitchen for someone else to take out. (HINT: if you didn't catch that, yes I know you expected me to take it out.) Yes, I did take it out eventually, but only because I don't enjoy living like a pig, in filth.
I realize that I worked a lot, but I am paying for college, with little help from my family, I realize that many of you have your family to fall back on, and some of you are even being completely funded by your parents, so you have a lot of free time. But intentionally leaving someone out of multiple conversations, and plans for trips, is just plain rude. Especially when you are going to try to talk about it in front of me, without using specific words. But you plan to invite multiple people over to MY apartment to go with you, still without mentioning anything to me.

Finally, we come to my favorite. The one who hurt me in the deepest way possible. You were the one that I told all of my secrets to, who knew everything I had ever been through in my life. Yet somehow... you let one of the most hurtful moments of my life be replayed, and you thought that it was funny.

I have realized what true friendship is, and the type of people that I do and do not want around at the end of the day. I can't say that you all didn't play a part in that. For that I am grateful. But do not be surprised when you're not the first one I call with good news.


Marisa

A letter to all of the girls who feel like quitting

Hi.
I know how you are feeling, I've been in the exact same spot.
Whether you feel like quitting your job, or quitting school, or a diet plan.. Whatever you are feeling like quitting, wait.
I have a few questions for you first.

Why?
Why do you want to quit whatever it is that you're considering?
Is it because people at work are mean to you, and you don't get the recognition you deserve?
Maybe you should say something. If it is your boss that is rude or mean to you, go above them.
     I know that I feel like quitting my job sometimes when everything just gets overwhelming. The last thing that I want to do is go back after a really long day where people make it apparent that they do not like me. But honestly, I go back, day in and day out. Mainly because I love what I do. I love getting to work with people each and every day.
Is it because the work load is too hard?
Maybe you should look into a different major, or compare your current workload to the workload of that particular career field. Typically it isn't going to get any easier than the workload you have in college.
     I had the opposite problem. I am currently going to school to become a teacher, and originally I was an Elementary Ed major, but i changed it to Secondary Ed when I decided that it wasn't requiring me to think about anything in depth, I decided that working with teenagers would allow me to have a different level of intellectual communication, and I enjoyed teaching people to look deeper at a work of literature, rather than teaching them how to read simple sentences. I wanted to be challenged everyday, so the workload I have in college is one that I prepared myself for. Even when I am having an off day, and I want nothing more than to sit in my bed and watch Netflix all day, I make myself get up and go to class. I end up feeling much better afterwards because I actually accomplished something.
It it because you don't feel like it?
     Oh girl, I hear you on that one. I go to school full time, taking a minimum of 16 units, and I work part time. I also have 60 hours of observation that I have to complete in the classroom this semester, I don't even want to mention the homework..There are so many days where I would much rather eat a pizza than get up and make a healthy dinner. But, if I eat a pizza I find myself sluggish and tired the next day and it just turns into a spiral downwards. If I get up and make a healthy meal, it gives me energy to get through my entire day, and that way I can get a lot more accomplished.

Why did you start?
    I started working because I wanted to be able to pay for things for myself. I got my first job less than a month after I graduated from high school, at one of my favorite places in the world. I still have that job almost 4 years later. And while some days it seems like hell on earth, especially around the holidays, I love my job and I wouldn't trade it for anything. It has helped me to be financially independent from my parents, and it has helped me learn respect for other people and their ideas.
    On the days when I feel like quitting my job I just remember how excited I was to start it, how i was so nervous my trainer had to remind me to breathe, and how some of my best friends I met through my job.

What would quitting solve?
    If it's quitting school that you are thinking about, quitting wouldn't really solve anything. Most jobs in today's market, you need a degree to make anything more than minimum wage, or a few dollars more. And quitting school does not look good on a person's resume, it just shows that you cannot commit to anything long term. Maybe it's not the workload, maybe it is the environment that you are in. It took me moving to another state, and going to the type of school that I never saw myself at to really understand who I was and what I wanted out of my life. I recommend a change in scenery before you completely give up on school, or anything else for that matter.

Quitting is never the answer, unless you already have a strong backup plan in place, you're going to end up at a standstill. So keep your head up girly, everything will get better in time.

Marisa

To the guy who rear ended me and drove away

Hi,
The first time I wrote this it was full of hateful words and anger. See, my week had been going really well until you hit me.. and it was just a downward spiral from there for the next 9 days. I gave three police reports in those nine days and it started with the one I gave after you drove off. I had a killer headache for the next two days, probably from the harsh shaking motion of the accident. Then on the third day, I went out to my car and had a completely flat tire, yay.. not. I thought that was the end of my bad luck, but driving home from work the following Wednesday, there was an extremely bad accident right in front of me, and I was a witness, (obviously) so i stayed and made a police report. At this point, my brain was done, and I just hoped nothing bad would happen for the rest of the week... I went to class thursday, had a good day. Then I went home, and while i was taking a nap my bike was stolen from outside of my apartment. (Police report number 3).

I hope you had a better week than I did. I know the police paid your friend a visit, she was probably pissed that you crashed her car. Maybe you'll pay more attention when you drive in the future. I want you to know that while I was pissed at the time, and I may have been more than a little rude, I am not actually mad at you. I figure there must have been something that was much more important than the fact that all of the cars in front of you were at a complete stop.

It took having this bad of a week for me to be reminded how wonderful my friends and family are. All they want to do is lift me up and make me feel better. I realized that i have some of the best friends in the world, and that you should be jealous of my awesome friends.

I hope that you have a nice holiday season, and that nothing bad comes your way.


Marisa

A letter to the guy who left a sarcastic comment on my Instagram picture.

Hey.

So you might say that it wasn't sarcastic and that you truly meant that you could see. But it brought back memories. Memories of being picked on all throughout elementary, junior high and high school. I was always the chubby friend. I developed faster than all of my friends. I was the girl with a pretty face. I used to look in the mirror and hate my body, hate my cheeks that were too chubby and my boobs that were too big. I have been on every diet that you can name. I have tried everything under that sun. I lost 20 pounds and gained back 30. You know what? 

I learned that it was a slow process. I learned that no matter what i did my boobs were not going anywhere. I learned that i have a tendency to not finish things that I start but at the same time i am extremely stubborn. 

You don't know me. You don't know that I am an extremely strong person. You don't know that bullying is something that just pisses me off. What if I wasn't? What if I was one insult away from not eating for the rest of the week. What if i had a thyroid problem and couldn't lose weight. Honestly there are so many girls out there that are not as strong as I am, i would hate to see how they would react to what you said. 

Honestly though, it just motivated me to try harder, to get back at it 10 fold. 

So thank you.

Marisa. 

A letter to my future husband...

Hello,

We haven't met yet, or if we have I don't know it. I am currently a junior in college, and I've been thinking a lot about you lately. I know I talk a lot so you've probably heard the story, but my cousin just got married... You know the one who is two weeks younger than me, inherited a bunch of money and shows it off like crazy? That one just got married. And it got me thinking...

I never thought marriage was for me, I never thought I would want to get married, but I am about to turn 22. I am on the tail end of my college career and about to go into the real world! And suddenly, that is what I want. I want someone to cheer me on and tell me that I'm not crazy when I wake up at 3 in the morning and decide to clean the kitchen. I want someone who knows me better than anyone else.

I wonder how we will meet. Will I love you instantly or will it take some convincing? 

I am currently focusing on my path with God, it is something that is extremely important to me. I hope that it is important to you and that it is something that we share and discuss openly. 

Is purity something that we struggle with? Or have we figured out how to balance out a romantic relationship and refrain from those desires? 

I am going to state it openly to you now, I am promising myself to you. I don't know if you're struggling like I am, but I have slipped a few times, I hope that we have the kind of relationship where I can be open and honest about my failures and you can be open and honest about yours. I believe that this is important because then we can be most accepting of each other. 

I understand that in society today, sex is everywhere. It is not always easy to remain pure, and recommitting to purity is even harder. I understand this And I will not judge you for your mistakes.

Moving on from that topic, how did you propose? Was it something simple and private? Or was it big and grand? Did you ask my parents first?

I can't wait to meet you, but I am going to end this letter here.

Yours,

Marisa